Yeesh… can’t remember the last time I ever did any actual writing, blog-wise. Seems like I was always posting something about this that or the other…nowadays it’s all wrapped up (read: congested) into a nice 140-character Tweet. But, after reading a few of my fellow Quixotees on here I decided, at the ungodly hour of 1 A.M. with the heaviest of eyes, to try to get back into this thing.
Next month will be my 56th year on this mudball…sounds crazy just writing that. I’ve picked up a few habits here, made some personal decisions there…all of which has enhanced my life some. I know I could be better but I’m way better off now than I was in 2005. I have just one more thing to do before I can move on to The Next Phase Of My Life, but circumstances are kinda keeping me here. Recently the choice to stay in Paterson has been taken from me (sort of) so now I have to hit the ground running (again)…if things go well I can move on with a clear conscience but at the moment it’s not looking too good. I mean, it’s not egregiously bad but it ain’t great, either. If I can get in one more year here I should be okay. Time will tell.
I’ve changed a lot since I’ve done this bloggy thingy. Mentally I’m holding it down but the body has definitely changed for The Older. While I’m maintaining a decent weight class of sorts, the greys are more prominent than ever, I’m down to a little less than half the teefes, the vision’s a little more blurrier without the specs and…I believe The Factory Is Closed. A little sad about that but I had an idea it was happening for a couple of years now…I went thru the “grieving” stages, accepted The Real and kept it moving. I still have two guys depending on me so I can’t waste time whining about it.
The One Constant I still have in my life is music. While its current state leaves much to be desired (read: Hip Hop and today’s Dance music) I can still go to my fave spot on Mulberry in Newark and drink, dance to Industrial Oontzes and be merry. I gave up on politics, religion, all my sports teams…but I still live for dancing and beatmaking (which is more of a hobby nowadays than a career choice).
Relationship wise, things couldn’t be better. With everything going on in our own worlds we still find time to talk every night and spend weekends together, be it in a noisy club, a random restaurant or diner, or Netflixin’ and chillin’ with a variety of liquids and foods at her place. Despite of all my flaws, idiosyncrasies and habits, she still loves me. Our kids are okay with us being together so the pressure of “replacing” our significant others is nonexistent…just two people enjoying each others’ company. Six years later, we’re still at it.
In the meantime, I’m just gonna let my fear of My Own Death motivate me and live this life as long as I can while I can; outside forces will dictate the way I do things in my personal life, be it job stuff, daddy duties, Complicated things…the trick is to step to all of it head on with a positive attitude. Get more Wins than Losses in the Vynil Stats Column, y’know? 1971 to 1988 were my lowest years with my accident (with the ending of my marriage in 2005 a close second) until two books took me from the darkest corners of my mind and made me The Man You See Before You: a man happy with his life in spite of all the ups and downs he’s experienced.
Guess I better take it down and get some semblance of shut eye. Until next time, folks: live your life…love your life.
Happy 2016.
Vynilizms 